Brightly colored shoes get you noticed.
“She’s the first person on the dance floor.” —Oliver, 23
Super-trendy shoes can translate as costumey.
“Ninety percent certain this woman was thrust into the city via a time portal, suddenly teleported while training for the very first Greek Olympics.”
Makeup-color heels are always pretty.
Your “commute shoes” can look out of place.
“Great job matching her cab, not so much her outfit.” —Ralph, 27
Barely there sandals say “beach goddess.”
“She wishes she was on a Hawaiian vacation, but the park will have to do for now.” —William, 26
Socks + sexy pumps = identity crisis.
“The black heels are ‘downtown’ sophisticated, and the socks are schoolgirl cutesy. I’m confused.” —Mike, 31
Fashion-forward wedges spell fierce.
“She’s either from the funkiest village in Holland or owns her own paint-by-numbers shoe shop. Either way, this girl knows how to have a good time and isn’t afraid to tell you to your face.” —Matt, 36
To some cowboys, authenticity counts.
“She pretends to get excited about the Willie Nelson tickets you scored but secretly wishes you were taking her to see Kenny Chesney.” —Phil, 32
It pains him to look at your sky-high pumps.
“Could that be her hand in the shoe? Maybe it is her hand in the shoe. Ankles just don’t bend that way.” —Michael, 31
Too many animal prints make it look like you crave attention.
“She pretends to listen to music with an iPod turned off with hopes to overhear a conversation about her looks.” —Justin, 30
Low heels reveal your true shoe preference.
“She’s put-together at work, but on the weekends, she loves to change into jeans and a T-shirt. She looks hot either way.” —Andrew, 33
Black boots and bare legs look hot. But not in the way you’re thinking.
“Undeterred by the weather, this girl is going to rock a winter no matter what—even if she ends the day in a pool of her own sweat.”—Greg, 21