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Over the past year:

A 92-year-old woman fired four shots at a neighbor who refused to kiss her.

 

A Delray Beach man cut off a piece of a dead whale that washed ashore — planning to eat it.

 

An 8-year-old girl gave her teacher some marijuana and said: “This is some of my mom’s weed.” BLAHHAHAHAHAAAA

 

At the Miami airport, a Brazilian trying to get through security was caught with several baby pythons and tortoise hatchlings in his underwear.

 

 

A man stored his dead cougar in a freezer.

 

A sheriff’s deputy answering a call about a 7-foot gator in a country club got more than he bargained for when the beast attacked his patrol car, chomping down on the front bumper.

 

In Palm Beach County, an elementary school teacher opened an end-of-the-year gift from an 8-year-old student’s grandmother and found toiletries and a loaded handgun.

 

A Tampa woman upset with her 15-year-old son’s bad grades forced him to stand on a street corner with a sign that read: “Honk if I need an education.

 

 

Deputies arrested an 18-month-old’s father after they found the man passed out in his mobile home while the toddler was in the yard picking up beer cans and drinking them.

 

 

 

Pasco County deputies said a woman walked into a bank with a 3-year-old boy and robbed it.

 

A homeless man held up a Tampa bank, fled on a city bus and handed out stolen cash to passengers.

 

 

And while he didn’t rob it, an unhappy Palm Coast bank customer left quite a deposit. He urinated in a drive-thru bank tube and drove off.

 

 I BLAME IT ON THE HEAT!!!

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