The Male Opinion
By Jeff Kahn, co-author of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story
(Authors: Jeff Kahn and Annabelle Gurwitch)
Between 1987 and 1995, I set several North American dating records. In 1989: Most first dates by a man under 5-foot-7. From 1987 to 1994: Most dates with the same girl without once kissing. From Feb. 12–15, 1991: Most dates in a four-day non-religious holiday weekend. So, even though I’ve been married for almost 15 years, I still might know a thing or two about dating. Here are my tips for the ladies out there.
In Your 20s
Your 20s are like one giant decade of living life at a singles bar. Each man you meet could be the one, but know that not every date is going to be spectacular—and not every date has to end with him proposing. So enjoy these years, and try not to worry too much about the future.
Go Easy On The Eyes
Too much makeup on a gal is as distracting as when a guy works too hard on his facial hair. You’re in your 20s and your skin is in full bloom, so don’t hide it—let it shine!
Laugh A Little
Humor helps breaks the tension and relaxes the mood. For instance, don’t go to see a super serious chick flick if you’re not willing to make fun of it. Believe me, if you do, then your date will love you for it.
In Your 30s
Here they are, the 30s: The big wake-up call from the perpetual hangover that was your wild 20s. At this age, dating may start to seem like a farming chore instead of a thrill-a-minute rollercoaster ride, but it’s still the best way to get to know someone.
OK, so you’re not already married with kids. You still have time. This is not 1923, and the world no longer sees unmarried women as spinsters.
Keep A Little Mystery
Don’t tell your date your life history over the course of one meal. You don’t want to overwhelm. You wouldn’t show up for the date naked, would you? Part of the fun is slow reveal.
Beware The Sweet Talk
Guys may step up the romantic repartee and start making a lot of promises, but ladies, never lose sight of the fact that we’re still trying to get into your pants.
In Your 40s
Hey, you may not be as romantic and optimistic as you once were, but your 40s are a perfectly fine age to fall in love. So get out there and date—this could be your best decade yet.
That’s right, I’m down with the whole “Cougar” thing. You look awesome so why not date a dude in his 20s? Give those youngins a taste of your experience. (Trust me, they can use it.)
When you’re first dating a guy, split the bill or alternate who picks up the checks. This shows your integrity and that you’re self-sufficient. To me, that’s a turn-on.
In Your 50s and Beyond
No matter how old we get, we still have emotional needs, and one of those needs is the same as it was in our 20s: to meet someone special and fall in love. Don’t give up on love: It’s a very renewing, life-affirming human attribute no matter how old you get.
Look good, and dress your age—that means no hot pants or super tight minis (well-fitting ones are fine).
Keep Your Perspective
Make your date laugh by poking fun at the young couple at the next table, because you both know that they’re clueless about love, life and what it takes to survive and still be happily dating past your 40s.
SHOP NOW: You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story, $17
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